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3 Ways to Rephrase “No” and Not Get Fired

Even if you pride yourself in being a team player, you may run into a situation where you have to turn an assignment down. Have you ever said, “I don’t have time for this right now,” or “I’m busy right now.” to your boss or colleague?  Ever think about how to reframe these responses so you don’t fall out of favor?

Unfortunately, these two direct responses don’t inspire.  You can be honest but you also want to foster an environment of collaboration.  To build better office relationships, take another approach to saying “no.”

  1. Never start your reply with no. It is helpful to consider responding to a request with a “Yes, and …” format. Never blatantly reject the idea. Always embrace the request and pivot the request in a direction you like better.
  2. Offer an alternative If you are in a situation where it is not possible to do the requested task and meet your current deadlines, you could say: “Sure, I can do that — do you want me prioritize it over this other assignment?”

Or maybe you’re willing to perform the task, but another person may have the flexibility to get it done faster. If so, diplomatically make that suggestion.

Instead of rushing to say no, consider offering your assistance in a different way or at a different time.  Say instead: I’d be happy to discuss this with you after my morning meetings. May I stop by your office around 2 p.m.?”

The point is to be clear and positive — and to offer a realistic picture of potential alternatives.

  1. Focus your response on the right points. If you are feeling overworked, don’t focus the conversation on that aspect. Rather focus on how you want to help solve the issue of being overworked.  Always make sure you emphasize your willingness and ability to help the department. You might even ask for advice about the best way to handle competing deadlines in the future. Either way, minimize discussion of being overworked to avoid coming across as non-collaborative.

Can you think of other ways to tactfully say no and keep favor at work? Comment below and share your ideas.

6 Unproductive Phrases You Should Never Use At Work

There are a few career and team limiting phrases that tend to jeopardize one’s professional image, likelihood for promotion, and overall team health. When used by the speaker, the words may seem harmless.  However, to the listener, they reveal a negative attitude and unprofessional demeanor.  Below are six phrases you should avoid in the workplace.

1. “It’s not fair.”

Injustice is a common occurrence in the workplace and in the world at large.  It could be your colleague can work from home but you can’t.  They got a promotion and you didn’t.  Life is not fair and you are going to run into situations at work that highlight how unfair life is.  What you want to avoid is using this phrase to stay in a place of complaining and whining.  Take a more effective approach in dealing with office injustice.  Instead, build a case by documenting the facts and present an intelligent argument to the person or group who can help you.

2. “That’s not my job.”

Even if this statement is technically true. Statements like this give the impression that you don’t care. An unconcerned and self-serving attitude will quickly limit your career advancement opportunities or sabotage others perception of you. Instead, articulate your thoughts in a more thoughtful and productive fashion. For example, if your supervisor delegates an unreasonable task to you, rather than saying, “That’s not my job,” instead say, “I’d love to help. I currently have X deadline to complete my current tasks of A, B, and C, which one of these should I place on hold to work on this new assignment?” This response positions you as a team player but also makes your current workload clear and the need to set realistic expectations.

3. “But we’ve always done it that way.”

Successful professionals value creative thinking, innovation, thought leadership, and problem solving.  This phrase reveals that you are closed-minded and that you don’t value innovation. Consider using a different approach such as: “That’s an interesting idea. How would that work?” Or, “That’s a different approach. Let’s discuss the pros and cons.”

4.  “There’s nothing I can do.”

Even when a situation looks bleak, promote a can- do attitude. Saying “There’s nothing I can do” is the easy way out.  There is always something you can do.  With some additional thought, you can come up with what you can do.  When you make the mistake of saying a negative phrase like this one, your words convey a hopeless outlook. This type of approach is seldom valued in the workplace. Instead, use your words to communicate what you can contribute to the situation.  Share something like, “What I can do is this,”  “Give me a little time to think of how I can help,” or, “Let’s discuss what’s possible under these circumstances.”

5. “You could have…”

The workplace isn’t kind to those who like to point fingers and inflict feelings of blame. Instead of making someone feel guilty for poor behavior or wrong action, take a graceful approach.  Examples of graceful comebacks are: “Next time, to ensure proper planning, please bring this to my attention right away.” Or, “Moving forward, I recommend…”

6. “You guys.”

“You guys.” has a derogatory connotation when used.  Reserve this language for informal conversation outside of the workplace.  Substitute this phrase with specific references like “the organization” or “this team” or simply “you.”

These career and team limiting words come up often. When you catch yourself using them, pause and start over.  It may be difficult to eliminate them overnight but the change first starts with awareness. The rest will happen over time.

Can you think of other phrases that hinder a positive work environment? Comment below and share your ideas.

Finding Ways to Connect with Your Team

Everyone has a desire to be wanted and accepted.  The more that desire is fed the easier it becomes for that person to feel connected.  When you are connected, things flow and you feel good.  You want to be in the situation.  You want to talk.  You want to engage.  You want to learn and do more.  Think about the last time you connected with someone or something.  How did it make you feel? I am sure it was positive.  Those adjectives are the same ones you want your team members to have. 

I recently attended a family wedding and got an opportunity to catch up with cousins who hadn’t seen me in a long while.  It was so easy to strike a conversation because of what we had in common.  We talked about family.  Team members don’t mind if you take the time to find out a little about them, like where they went to school, their pet name, their hobbies, etc.  Make it a point to discover one thing about each team member that you can use to connect with them each time you have dialogue with them.  Find common ground and you will get further in creating rapport and relationship with them. 

Sometimes building rapport can be intrusive.  When you don’t know someone well and you bombard them with a slew of questions it can be turn someone off.  Think of ways that you can ease into this and make it more natural.