The words of a leader carry a lot of weight with the people they manage. Certain words lift someone up while others simply demotivate. Here are 6 common phrases you might hear from an insensitive leader. These are plays you want to remove from your leadership playbook, if you want to influence and have greater impact in your leadership role.
Insensitive Play #1: You should know this.
It would be nice if there was stage in life where everyone became all-knowing. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Whether you are young, old, new, or seasoned, there will be times when you just don’t know. So, if you encounter someone on your journey who you feel doesn’t know as much as you think they should. Throw them a grace line. Share information, educate them with a humble spirit and hope it sticks for future reference.
Insensitive Play #2: You are lucky to even have a job.
The positive aspect of this statement is that whoever uses it is trying to have focus on gratitude opposed to lack. There are people out there that would love to make an income doing anything but a statement like this also discredits someone’s feelings of dissatisfaction. In addition to sharing how you think they are blessed, also share statements that make them feel that you empathize with their feelings of dissatisfaction and/or need for more.
Insensitive Play #3: Just figure it out.
It’s convenient if an employee can take the time to figure out something themselves by asking questions, reading materials themselves, etc. However a good manager knows that part of their role is to guide and direct. If you are trying to develop self-sufficiency skills, you can say, “This is something I would like you to handle yourself, using resources X, Y, and Z.
Insensitive Play #4: I don’t have time for your performance review but you are doing fine.
Employees need specific feedback even when they are performing well. High performers especially need feedback because it is their nature to want to grow. Make it a point to tell them what they are doing well, what they could do differently, or stop all together.
Insensitive Play #5: That is a dumb idea.
Great ideas can only be nurtured in a safe environment where people can feel safe to make suggestions. Whether you agree with an idea or not, work to preserve a team member’s self-esteem. Their idea may not be ideal at the time but they may be the source of something brilliant in the future.
Insensitive Play #6: Just do what I tell you.
Nobody wants orders barked at them. If you groom your team to just follow commands, you are creating a team of robots that cannot think for themselves. This type of leadership stifles accountability and innovation. It causes people not to think beyond what is required and removes feelings of ownership for their projects. Instead, inform team members of what is required from them, allow them to share their concerns, and work towards mutual agreement and respect.
Can you think of other signs of an insensitive leader? Comment below and share your ideas.